18 again...

Age is an illusion.
No matter how many times the Earth has orbited the sun during your life, you can be undone by the same feelings of helplessness.
You can always feel every moment in front of you obscured in enigmatic maze
... every moment behind an unfathomable mystery.
Detail notwithstanding, ive had a week, a month... perhaps more... to feel like im back at the begining of things.
18 again, and non the wiser.
Degrees, jobs of all colour and years of travel... meaningless.
Still frightened.
Still ignorant.
Still immature.
Still straining for something to change.
Still asking stupid questions of life, and still having fuck-all in answer. 
Still wondering when you can wake up and not feel like a clueless adolescent.
It seems the only changes are a fading of hope and an inevitable rising fatalism

Overly romantic,  perhaps diminishing... but, still, in my sentiment, im still hoping for the wind to change

“The lapse of ages changes all things - time - language - the earth - the bounds of the sea - the stars of the sky, and everything 'about, around, and underneath' man, except man himself, who has always been and always will be, an unlucky rascal. The infinite variety of lives conduct but to death, and the infinity of wishes lead but to disappointment. All the discoveries which have yet been made have multiplied little but existence.” Byron.